Pork-Flavored Poultry: The Kosher Breakthrough of the Millenium

image via Bang it Out

Kosher Pork.
It’s like the Jewish version of the Holy Grail.

Jews worldwide are bound together by the ancient dietary laws. Whether they choose assimilation through bacon or uphold traditional values, they share a common dream: guilt-free charcuterie, BLTs without ambivalence, sausage links with a clear conscience; a truly porky meal that adheres to the rules of kashrut.

The pork-flavored goose is here.
Like penicillin, microwave ovens, and so many of our greatest discoveries, the pork-flavored goose is a lucky accident. Spanish farmers stumbled upon the distinctive goose flesh while experimenting with natural, free-range feedings. They immediately thought of the sales potential in a Jewish market, and sent off samples to Israel’s chief rabbi. While the rabbi was wholly unqualified to comment on the meat’s porkiness, he found some non-Kosher tasters who confirmed the discovery of a true culinary double.

While Israeli newspapers trumpeted the discovery with headlines like ‘Duck, Duck, Pork?’, ‘Hamming it Up’, and ‘Rabbi Brings Home the Bacon,’ Israel’s rabbinic councils deliberated, and ultimately determined that there is no Jewish injunction against eating goose, whatever it tastes like, as long as it’s slaughtered according to Jewish ritual and is approved by the rabbinical kosher authorities.

The Jerusalem Post said it best:

If the dream of tasting pork – that most forbidden of forbidden foods – has always been yours, then dream no longer. And if you thought the idea of a rabbinically approved slice of swine was less likely than a flying pig, then think again.

 

 

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