Oh Cap’n! my Cap’n!

Sometimes the internet is no better than a middle school cafeteria.

The rumor mill started grinding earlier this month with an article in AOL’s Daily Finance. A reporter noted that Cap’n Crunch cereal was nowhere to be found on the Quaker website. The article’s speculative title asked the question Is Cap’n Crunch Easing Quietly Into Retirement?

The piece was a rumination on the challenges facing the brand: its shrinking market share, public criticism of food companies that market to children, and White House pressure to make healthier products. It concluded that this is a pretty good time for the Cap’n to maintain a low profile.

The blogosphere then took that thread of speculation and ran with it:
Cap’n Crunch Retires (Seattle Post-Intelligencer); Cap’n Crunch sails into obscurity (Today on MSNBC); Cap’n Crunch Retirement (Yahoo! Buzz).

Fox News took it a step further, fabricating a political angle: Food Police Kill Cap’n Crunch (Fox Nation), inspiring headlines in conservative blogs like Obama’s Soggies Force Cap’n Crunch Into Early Retirement (AsianConservatives.com), and Cap n’ Crunch: Michelle Obama Forces Captain Crunch’s Retirement? (Conservative BlogsCentral).

It took the Cap’n himself to put the rumors to rest via his newly-created Twitter account (@RealCapnCrunch): “I’m hearing the rumors. I would never retire. I love being a captain too much!”

Cap’n Crunch has sailed back from the brand equivalent of the Bermuda Triangle with its greater social media presence. The new website tiptoes around nutritional issues offering only that Cap’n Crunch is a great-tasting cereal which supplies grains, an excellent source of seven essential vitamins, is low in fat, cholesterol-free, has 0 grams of trans fat, and contains 1 gram of fiber.

Which just goes to show, you can’t believe everything you read on the internet.
Tony the Tiger and Count Chocula could not be reached for comment.


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