Herman Cain: The Man and the Pizza

He’s Herman Cain, the man who would be President, one of the most successful African-American food entrepreneurs in American history, and Bill Clinton’s sparring partner during the 1994 health-care fight. That’s the man. But what about the pizza?

Godfather’s Pizza has over 600 locations in more than 40 states, according to the company’s website. This nationwide pizza company boasts several crust varieties and 100 percent real cheese. The Godfather’s Pizza website also tells us that one slice of a classic cheese pizza provides 290 calories, with 9 g of fat, 4 g of which are saturated fat. Cholesterol content is 20 mg and sodium content is 530 mg.

This is heartland pizza, sturdy, earnest pies with a toppings menu that includes middle-America faves like ground beef, sour cream, and bacon bits. There’s no hint of Naples, Italy or even New Haven, Connecticut.

By most reports Godfather’s produces a reasonable alternative to the Domino’s, Shakey’s, and Pizza Huts of the world (full disclosure: like most coastal, urban dwellers, I have no first-hand experience with Godfather’s Pizza). An unscientific twitter survey conducted by Politico turned up mixed reviews, while in a subsequent blind tasting, the Politico bipartisan panel ranked Godfather’s dead last (sample comments: “that is so bad”…”the most unappetizing”…”the cheese is really sour”…”the crust is like a sponge”).

Through a strangely ironic turn of events, nearly 100 Occupy Wall Street protestors were taken to area hospitals in various stages of gastrointestinal distress. The suspected culprit: food poisoning from a tainted delivery of Godfather’s Pizza.

Earnest, cheesy, and all-American. An underdog with national ambitions. Enemy of the Occupy Wall Street movement. Seemingly unremarkable, no better or worse than the rest of the field, but with a potentially dangerous edge. The man and the pizza.

 

See the song stylings of Herman Cain as he unleashes a rich baritone for this pizzafied cover of John Lennon’s Imagine. Sample lyrics:

Imagine there’s no pizza
I couldn’t if I tried
Eating only tacos
Or Kentucky Fried
Imagine only burgers
It’s frightening and sad

 

 

 

 

Related Posts

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Is it appropriate conversation for the dinner table? Then it should be fine.

Web Analytics