Caffeine: It’s not just for coffee anymore.

image courtesy of AlmaNewsimage courtesy of AlmaNews

We do love the buzz. Whether we’re waking up to a morning cup of coffee or popping open a can of Diet Coke for an afternoon pick-me-up, caffeine is our drug of choice. It has psychoactive qualities, is highly addictive, and we just can’t seem to get enough.

Nothing makes this point more explicitly than the collection of caffeinated products that have recently come to market.

Shower Shock Caffeinated Soap Shower Shock Caffeinated Soap

Just can’t wait for the morning brew? Start your day like a real caffeine addict with Shower Shock Caffeinated Soap (left). It’ll get you through your shower while your Mr. Coffee takes its sweet time. 200 mg. of caffeine (about the same as a 12 oz. cup of Starbucks) is absorbed through your skin each time you wash. After that bracing shower, slip into a pair of Skinkiss Tights (below, right) embedded with microcapsules of caffeine. The manufacturer claims that the tights are activated by body heat, releasing caffeine directly into the bloodstream, which gives a boost to the wearer’s metabolism, resulting in fat-burning and a reduced thigh circumference.

Skin Kiss Caffeine TightsSkin Kiss Caffeine Tight


You can fortify yourself throughout the day with caffeine-enhanced snacks, both sweet and savory. There are Buzz Strong’s Real Coffee Cookies promising a coffee cup’s worth of caffeine in every 2 cookies;Perky Jerky, the caffeinated beef jerky (110mg. of caffeine in each beefy serving);Caffeine-infused snack chips with a pork rind-like shape and consistency and a Froot Loopy cereal taste; caffeinated sunflower seeds; and a slew of caffeinated candies, gums, and mints.

There are caffeine-infused personal care products like Spazzstick Caffeinated Lip Balm, (up to 150 mg. of caffeine absorbed through the lips with repeated applications), rumored to be popular with Alaskan police officers who fight the twin on-the-job battles of fatigue and chapped lips; and Primer Caffeinated Breath Spray, which packs a 33 mg. caffeine punch per spritz from an atomizer containing 42 sprays.I

If you’re starting to crash from all of the caffeine you have ingested, absorbed, and inhaled throughout your day, P.I.N.K. Vodka (below, near right)

D+ Caf test strips
P.I.N.K Caffeine-infused Vodka

is ready to give you a boost to carry you through the evening. With the caffeine equivalent of about a half a cup of coffee in each shot, P.I.N.K. offers the unsettling promise of a wide-awake drunk.

Starting to get worried about your caffeine intake? Or maybe you just want to make sure no one snuck the decaf into your cup. It’s time to pull out the D+ Caffeine Test Strips (far right). Used like a dipstick in your favorite beverage, it assures you that you are getting your full complement of caffeine in all its stimulating glory.

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4 Responses to Caffeine: It’s not just for coffee anymore.

  1. morning cup of coffee is sens of life for me. I like drink coffee and watching tre the window what people do.

  2. NikolasTM says:

    You are mistaken. I can defend the position.

  3. Hobosic says:

    Everything dynamic and very positively! 🙂

  4. Michael says:

    All I can say is that I wish I wore tights and didn’t prefer gin to vodka! Thanks for all this.

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