Bacon is Bigger than Oprah

image via The Republic of Bacon

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Oprah’s got her following, and Charlie Sheen might be trending like crazy on Google right now, but bacon is still hanging on to its pop cultural currency.
It’s gone from buzz to frenzy to saturation, and still the bacon bubble hasn’t burst.
This is not a good thing.

It’s easy to see how we got here.
Food has become so complicated. Is it cage-free, grass-fed, and heart healthy? How about fairly-traded, organic, sustainable, and ocean-safe? You want the antioxidents and probiotics but not the high fructose and trans fats– or is it the other way around?

With bacon, there is no ambiguity. It is unequivocally, unredeemably, uncompromisingly, unapologetically unhealthy. It’s the unfiltered cigarette of the kitchen. And like the adolescent rebellion of the teenage smoker, professing bacon love is to thumb your nose at the rules. It’s telling the world that you can still think for yourself, political correctness and cholesterol be damned. You drive a Volvo and support public radio but you still have an edge.

Don’t get me wrong; I like bacon as much as the next gal.
Its allure is undeniable. It’s sweet and smoky and salty and meaty. There is no smell more intoxicating than that of bacon cooking. But bacon popcorn, marshmallows, and ice cream? Bacon donuts and infused vodka?
That’s not bacon love—that’s bacon abuse!

It’s time to stop the madness.
There are plenty of other foods that are worthy of our attention. Let’s not wait to see what depraved and ungodly form bacon will take next.

There’s a bumper sticker that reads: Everything tastes better with bacon.
I’m here to tell you it lied.

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